my dearest one.
i want you at every moment of me.
but, i just cant be with you.
when you need me,
i am always not there.
when i need you,
you are also not here.
only sometimes,
we are with each others.
i want more time of you.
but, i feel selfish.
i dun want make you feel controlled,
but instead i made you feels that i don't want you.
i want to talk to you,
but you are just playin or tv.
i admit that i dun understand you well,
but i seriously dunno what to ask you to tell me.
i wonder what you love,
what you like.
i want to understand you more,
but my mind are just so lazy .
i am seriously sorry.
but,
sometimes i really feel that i am making you sad.
you seems to be the one giving in.
but i feel that its me.
well, i feels that there is in & out.
sometimes when i see you in pain,
i really dunno what to do.
i cannot even do anything to help.
i am just so sorry.
i want to help but i dunno what to do.
you say that as long as there is me it will do.
but upon having me there,
it makes me heartpain more.
not saying that i dun wanna be there,
but it is just that i dun wan you to have the pain.
haiis,
i just wish to have you every moment.
but,
i know that is too much.
& not possible at the moment....

*waiting & hoping for the day.